Pain = Lessons – The greater the pain often the greater the lesson.
We learn lessons typically from pain and those of us that have high pain tolerance tend to struggle to learn the lessons easily. Pain = Lessons – The greater the pain often the greater the lesson. This seems unfortunate but it makes sense once we fully accept it as a gift from God.
As Michelle Bersell (michellebersell.com) states in her book Emotional Abundance “Think about it. It is so much easier to be the victim. When we are the victim, nothing is our fault. The fault is our abusers’. It is much easier to say that our life sucks or is not how we desire it to be because of someone else.”
By avoiding taking responsibility we stay a victim. This does not mean that we take full blame by any means but we do take our part of the equation and learn from it in order to grow. Pain = Lessons – The greater the pain often the greater the lesson. Many times just by owning our part we have learned the lesson and will reduce the pain almost immediately. We have to also know who we are and what our authentic self is in order to really learn to own our part. Many times I would say I am sorry just to get the there person off my back and I did not really truly feel it. I was almost always sorry that the other person was in pain or upset with me but I was not always able to fully understand my role in it. Sometimes this was because the pain I was in made me numb to feeling it and sometimes it was because I was focused on other things going on with me. The more that I am able to be who I am meant to be and fully aware of the signals going on inside me the better I am able to focus on the “why” of what I did or didn’t do. Once I understand why I did the things I can then be able to apologize, make and amend or not because I then understand my responsibility in the experience. The more I am in touch with who God wants me to be the more likely I will be out of pain and able to be of better service to others.
How do we learn the lessons from pain? We learn to listen to what the pain is telling us. If we are in a relationship that is painful we start to listen to what the pain is telling us about the relationship; is it telling us something that is reminding us of experiences from the past? Is it telling us that we are not good enough and that the messages we are getting from our partner are pushing us to stay a victim? Remember Pain = Lessons – The greater the pain often the greater the lesson, so if our relationship is causing us a lot of pain then we need to heed the lesson.
So why should we be grateful for these messages of pain? God has to get our attention somehow. If we want to grow spiritually and find out who it is that we are really meant to be in this life we must go through some pain. Sometimes we are doing everything “right” according to the church we are going to or the people we are hanging out with or the family we grew up with and still things happen that cause us pain.
There have been periods of time (brief typically) that I did not feel that I needed to do more. Most of my life there has been pain or situations that forced me to do one of two things. Retreat, or go out of my comfort zone. At the age I am now I know that I do not have tons and tons of time left so it is now more important that I make the time I have the best time that I can.
I am on this journey now to understand and learn to use the pain I have. I have had so much pain in my life and have been so angry and frustrated with it that I have wanted to check out numerous times and just say “forget it” only this is the G rated version. I am only now starting to realize that these lessons that I have been so stubborn to listen to are really for my best. As I get to learning about my inner self that I prefer to use Authentic self I am learning how much I did not honor or console and take care of. Because of this many of the messages God gave me were very painful. I was using alcohol and drugs for more than 18 years to numb and ignore these lessons. I also used football and other sports to try to rise above the lessons and avoid living in the real world. I even learned to help others to avoid taking care of myself, that sounds just plain crazy but it is true. By helping others I could focus on them and many thought I was doing a great job but in reality I was in a ton of pain and was feeling that I was not doing what it was that I was meant to do. Because Pain = Lessons – The greater the pain often the greater the lesson, I had found that I was running from the lesson!
Pain is something that is needed in my opinion and if we do not feel pain now and realize that the pain is what is changing us then what I have seen happen is I will just go through the years for a while until it all blows up. I used to feel resentment towards the people I knew that were able to handle very difficult situation with grace. I knew people that had difficult situations in their lives and they seemed to know exactly what to do as if it was almost easy. What I did not realize is that they also had painful times in their lives and they chose to learn from it and change. If we choose not to learn from the pain God will keep on bringing pain to your life in many ways in order to get your attention. If you are grateful for the lesson and the pain then it is easier to focus on what God is trying to tell us. Pain = Lessons – The greater the pain often the greater the lesson.
If you are someone that is tired of the pain running your life and you do not see that the lessons are there for you to learn please find someone that can help you with this. Many times I have heard that when the student is ready the teacher will appear. This has happened to me on numerous occasions and if it is to be then it is up to me to make that choice to take advantage of the teacher.
Have a great day and I wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving weekend!!
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